The following is an excerpt from my book Duos Trilogy and originally appeared in the book Duos. You can purchase a copy in paperback and for kindle here. Copyright 2008.
“Cause of death?”
Ha ha. Very funny. I’m not dead.
“Kay, let’s just pull up your file… here it is. Oh, that’s brutal, eh?”
“Looks like you fell off the toilet.”
That’s ridiculous. How could someone even die from that?
“You were standing on the can to change a light bulb, lost your balance and… Here we are.”
That’s the best you could come up with? If that’s how I died, prove it.
“What are you talkin’ aboot, you’re standin’ at Heaven’s gates, eh? What more proof do you need?”
I’ve never been dead before. How do I know this is what it’s like?
“Good point. Gimme a coupla minutes, I’ll see what I can do.”
The guys really went all out. How’d they get these clouds in here… Must be one Hell of a fog machine.
“Well, it’s unprecedented, but He approved it.”
“You really don’t believe me, do you?”
Not for a second. Let’s see the proof.
“Alright. Um… this might hurt.”
What might OOWWW!
“I tried to warn you, eh?”
Wow, I’m in my house. Impressive. Really.
“No need to get snarky. Go to the bathroom.”
No thanks, I’m good.
“Not to whizz, ya goof. To see that you’re dead.”
I don’t know what you think I’ll see… Is that supposed to be me?
“Dead as a doornail.”
Nope, that’s gotta be one of those rubber love dolls or something.
“Not enough for you, eh? Brace yourself.”
For what OOWWW!
“Paramedics came when your neighbor found you. It was too late.”
Hey, don’t fall for it! You’ve got a dummy in that body bag!
“They can’t hear you.”
STOP. HALT. CEASE.
“They can’t see you either. Stop waving your arms around like that. It’s embarrassing, eh?”
You really got some devoted actors for this.
“They’re not actors. They can’t see you because you’re dead, eh? How many times do I hafta tell you?”
This is just one big joke!
“I guess there’s only one way left to convince you.”
No, just end this stupid prank and let OOWWW!
“I take it you’ve been here before.”
This is the church I went to as a kid… There’s my family…
“Let’s go inside, eh?”