Inside out things can be fun. Reversible jackets, and… Uh. Reversible jackets are fun.

Other inside out things make you look pretty dumb. Non-reversible jackets. Pants. Baseball caps.

And then there’s the inside out eyelid. An inside out eyelid is fraught with panic, pain, and tears. I would say it’s similar to a cramped calf muscle in the middle of the night. Or maybe a fifth as bad. Actually a middle of the night calf muscle cramp is one of the worst things ever, there’s no comparison.

This has happened to me three times in the last week when innocently rubbing my eyes. For some reason my eyelids have taken on the qualities of contact lenses and instantly reverse shape with the slightest pressure.

I think the cause might be any movement of the eyelid muscles while pressure is still applied. Complete relaxation is vital for a successful eye rub. Ow, happened again, son of a…