Heist

(from DUOS by Erik J Skinner ©2009)
Ski masks?
“Check.”
Rope?
“Check.”
Glass cutter?
“Check.”
Walkie talkies?
“Check.”
Custard pie?
“What?”
Custard pie. I put it on the list.
“No you didn’t”
Yes I did, right after orange juice.
“What orange juice?”
Shoot… I added it to the wrong list…
“What do we need custard pie for? We’re robbing a bank.”
It’s my calling card, Darrel. I can’t pull off a heist without leaving my trademark custard pie booby trap in the vault.
“I didn’t know you did that.”
I do. Then they read the note that says, ‘Looks like you got pie on your face.’ Jesus Darrel, do you even read the itineraries I put together?
“Not really. I usually just sit in the van, so…”
If you’re ever going to advance in this business beyond being the ‘sit-in-the-van’ guy, you have to start being more involved in these heists.
“I kind of like being the ‘sit-in-the-van’ guy.”
I am astonished. Astonished and offended. Where’s your passion? I remember the look in your eyes that first time I came back through those un­marked van doors carrying armfuls of money bags. It was like a child seeing fireworks for the first time. Where has the magic gone, Darrel? Where has it gone?
“I just like sitting in the van.”
Fine, let all your potential just slip away. I’m going in there, but I’m not going to enjoy it. You’ve broken my heart Darrel.
“What about the pie?”
Oh damn, that’s right, the pie. Is there a grocery store around here?
“Couple blocks back. I think they’re closed though.”
Nonsense, grocery stores are open 24 hours these days!
“Fine, we’ll go take a look.”
That’s it, get back into it! We’re making it happen! Look at us go! Exciting, eh?
“It’s closed.”
Shoot. Guess we should just call it a night then. Let’s go home.
“You think Mom will have hot chocolate ready for us?”
Oh that would be bliss, just bliss… damn it, hot chocolate was on the wrong list too.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *